Lost and Gone
by Wandaang
Summary: REWRITTEN. Lily Potter wakes up with no recollection of the past 10 years and she finds out that things are not what they used to be. Will she accept it? Multiple pairings. AU
1. Awake

CHAPTER 1

There was a green light, so bright that Lily couldn't see anymore. She heard a scream escaped her mouth. It was a shrill cry that echoes through the house. She tried to move, but all she could do is sob for she knew she had lost. Voldemort had found them and her family is going to die…

Bright light greeted Lily's eyes as she opened them. The light was blinding her and she was forced to close her eyes once more. _Is_ _this heaven?_, she thought, _if this is it then it's not so bad after all._ She could make out a face looking straight at her, but it was blurred. "Who are you?" She asked the unknown face while struggling to block her eyes from the painful light.

"I'm glad you're finally awake, Lily,"

It was no mistaken. She knew that voice. "Dumbledore? Is that you?"

She heard him chuckled. "I'm rather surprised that you recognized me."

Lily tried to sit down, the room finally materializing in front of her. For the first time, she realized that she was in Dumbledore's office. She was seated in one of the couch as Dumbledore made his way towards his highchair, directly facing her. The old man was rather looking amusingly at her, his dark blue eyes survey her like she was about to explode any moment soon. Lily also noticed he looked a bit older than the last time she saw him; his gray hair was considerably longer and his eye bags darker.

"What am I doing here?" Lily questioned the man. "What happened?"

Dumbledore smiled curiously. "You don't remember, Lily? Tell me who are you."

Lily frowned. "Albus, I'm not playing games…"

"Neither am I, Lily." Dumbledore said simply. "It would do you no harm to answer my question; who are you and what do you remember?"

"You just said it yourself, I'm Lily." Lily said irritably. Dumbledore just looked at her as if expecting to continue. "I'm Lily… Lily Potter."

Dumbledore nodded after a long silence. "What do you remember, Lily Potter?"

Lily snorted. "What are you getting at, Albus-" She stopped talking. She remembered something. That night… at Godric's Hollow… James and Harry… Harry, her baby boy…A hooded figure… Voldemort!

"Where's Harry?" Lily demanded, panic swelling inside her. "Where's my family, Albus? What happened? Where are James and Harry?"

"James and Harry are quite all right." He said calmly.

"They're not…" Lily couldn't muster the strength to say it. "… gone?"

"Fortunately, they are not." Dumbledore said simply as if she just asked him a very plain question. "They are perfectly well. You need not to concern yourself with them."

Lily didn't like his tone. She stared at the man for a moment; something wasn't right. It was like she's missing something. Lily could feel anger boiling inside of her for the man's lack of sincerity. She just went through a horrible ordeal and here he goes acting as if nothing happened.

"Do you have any more concerns? Something you want to clarify?"

"Now that you mentioned it," She said heatedly. "I have one; how did Voldemort discover our house? It was under the Fidelous Charm Dumbledore! Only the secret keeper knows our hiding—"

"Ahh…" Dumbledore interrupted, "You just answered your question, Lily." Lily looked confused.

"Your secret keeper…" Dumbledore added knowingly

"No. It couldn't be, not–"

But Dumbledore held out his had to indicate silence. "Forgive me, Lily, but I have no intention to discuss this matter with you. It is irrelevant and isolated. It is of not great importance at the moment."

"What do you mean NOT IMPORANT?" Lily shouted, anger inside her has reached its limits. "My family could've died last night and it's not important?"

Dumbledore nodded. "Regretfully, it is not."

Lily's eyes widen in shock. How could Dumbledore not care? James and Harry could have died and no one would care, even him. Voldemort could have wiped out her entire family and he doesn't even give a damn.

"I think I had enough, Dumbledore." Lily said finally standing up. "I want to see James and Harry NOW!"

"Believe me when I say you will see them soon." He said. "But I'm afraid we're not finished yet. As a matter of fact, we haven't even started…"

Lily frowned and sat down. "What's it that you want? Do you need me to do something? Because frankly, I'd rather be doing something else…"

"Lily, before I continue. I want you to promise that you will not interrupt me, that any questions arise as I speak will not be asked until I have finished, and that any comment you wish to express will be dealt after I had my say. Do I make myself clear?"

"Whatever. Just go on"

"Promise me, Lily!"

They stared for a moment. "Yes, I promise." Lily said defeated.

Dumbledore closed his eyes and sighed. "Last week, there was an attack at Stoner Hill. A family was assaulted by more or less five fully armed Death Eaters. The house was burned down and a muggle died out of haste."

"The children were saved with only minor wounds and bruises though they may have developed certain paranoia due to the event. The father vanished. We do not have any information if he is still, hopefully, alive. The mother was unfortunate enough. She was hit by an unknown spell that made certain recollections unavailable. To be brief, she was hit by a memory charm. But ordinary memory charm wouldn't make her unconscious for a week, so I assumed there is something in the curse beyond erasing memory."

"According to my source, the Death Eaters have discovered that the Order has long been spying on their faction and are desperate to catch the perpetrator. It was merely a scare honestly. Or if it weren't, the mother would've died rather than her memory erased."

Dumbledore sighed again. "Are you finished?" Lily asked.

"Not yet," Dumbledore said. "Lily, may I ask you something?"

"What?"

"What year are we now?"

"Dumbledore, what kind of question is that?"

"Answer me, Lily."

"It's… It's 1981."

Dumbledore took a newspaper beside him and tossed it across towards Lily. She recognized it at once, The Daily Prophet. She looked at the headline: "STONER HILL MISHAP" Lily saw the Dark Mark hovering at what looked like a burned house on a stiff slope, smoke still issuing from the wreck.

Lily looked at Dumbledore. "I'm sorry…"

"Do you want to read it?"

"No. I think I can–"

Lily stopped talking. She just saw something that made her heart skip a few beats. She looked awestruck at Dumbledore.

"What! Is this a joke?"

Dumbledore shook his head slowly.

"This is a prank, right? Huh… It can't be. It's just. It's not." Lily said still looking at the newspaper date. "You can't be serious."

"I'm sorry Lily." Dumbledore said.

Lily looked stunned. "No! This couldn't be happening!"

She heard the old man speak but she couldn't quite understand, she felt her eyelids heavy and her body weak. But before she hit the ground she caught site of the date; 1991… ten years forward.


	2. Escape

CHAPTER 2 ESCAPE

"We don't know what she's capable of doing. She's in a lot of stress."

"I appreciate your concern. Take care of her at the moment as I deal with the search and rescue operation."

"Oh I hope you find him soon. This is such a terrible thing to happen to them."

Lily woke up with a throbbing headache. She tried to absorbed her surroundings and found herself in one of the beds of the Hospital Wing; Hogwarts.

"I hope she won't give you any trouble when she awakens. I fear she didn't take it lightly when I tried to explain to her yesterday."

"Gibberish!" A female voice said. "She'll be in good hands. Don't worry!"

Lily heard footsteps and then comes silence. Lily racked her brain and wondered what the heck is going on. Did she just time travel into the future? But she doesn't remember Voldemort casting a time travel curse, and she didn't know such spell existed. She clearly heard him shout the killing curse.

There was only way to find out. Lily got out of bed and searched the room. Finally, she saw what she's been looking for; a mirror. She sluggishly grabbed the hand mirror, afraid of what she might see. Lily's heart fell; there was her reflection, staring back at her. But it wasn't the young face she knew very well, it had changed… she looked older, her face thinner and her once long red hair was now bob-cut short with brown streaks on the side. She really looked like a 30 years old woman. Lily dropped the mirror and stared into nothingness…

If she hadn't time travel, then the only explanation for this is that she lost her memory… lost approximately ten years worth of memory. Lily was dumbfounded at this realization. She felt a tear escaped her eye, she didn't know why, considering the fact that she remembers none. But the thought that something has taken 10 years of her life from her, like it was snatched away with just one blink of an eye, was devastating…

A realization came into her… The family that had been attacked at Stoner, it was _her_ family and the father who's been missing was none other than James.

Lily burst into silent tears. Dumbledore lied to her! James isn't well, he's missing and he's been looking for him! All doubts and questions went racing out of Lily's head as the thought of Harry crossed her mind. She has to find Harry soon before Dumbledore comes up with anymore lies; whatever his reasons maybe.

But where?

"Lily?" Lily whipped around to find a plump woman entering the room. "Are you alright? Why are you crying?"

"Nothing." Lily made her way back to her bed, trying to hide the tears building up on her. "Who are you?"

"I'm Poppy Pomfrey." The woman smiled shyly. "I'm the Head Nurse—"

"What happened to me?" Lily wailed as she racked her brain, hoping she could remember how she got in this situation. "I can't remember anything… why am I here? Where's my Harry?"

"Calm down, Miss Lily." Madame Pomfrey begged. "Dumbledore will explain everything, just please calm down." But Lily didn't hear her as she continue to cry, her emotions having the best of her

"Here," The woman waved her wand and a small goblet came zooming towards them. "Please drink this. It'll make you feel better."

"What's that?" Lily asked suspiciously, wiping away her tears.

"It's just a nourishing potion. You haven't eaten in days."

But Lily knew better. She stared at the blue-colored potion.

"Lily? You have to drink this. You need nourishment." Pomfrey tried to push the goblet into her hands, but she didn't move.

"You know what happened to me?" Lily muttered.

After some moment, Madame Pomfrey nodded. "But I don't believe that I'm the right person to tell you that."

"And you think who? Dumbledore?" Lily snorted. "So that he could come up with more lies?"

"Yes, I do believe it is Dumbledore" Pomfrey replied irritably and Lily gawped at her. "And Dumbledore will never lie in situations like this, Miss Lily. He may hide some information to protect others and save them from pain, but lie he will never. Everything he does is for a reason and we will do good to trust him."

"I could never trust him!" Lily expressed as she hide her face on the pillow, crying. Madame Pomfrey sighed.

"Madame Pomfrey?" Lily asked as she faced the woman once more.

"Yes?" The woman replied.

"I want answers to my questions…"

"Then we can wait for Dumbledore—"

"No. No matter what you say, I cannot trust him. I want it to come straight from you."

Pomfrey looked at her in amazement. "You won't trust Dumbledore but you trust me? Someone you haven't met before?"

"I don't trust you." Lily stated. "But unlike him, you have given me no reason to doubt you."

Pomfrey seemed to relax a bit.

"Please…" Lily begged. Pomfrey looked sadly at her and compassion seemed to touch her. "I promise I'll drink that potion, if you want me to"

The woman seemed to consider the proposal "Fine…" She said skeptically as she handed Lily the goblet.

"It was good." Lily commented after she drank the potion. But it was a lie, it tasted like doxy droppings.

Madame Pomfrey smiled knowingly at her. "Really? Everyone else said it tasted like doxy droppings."

Lily thought hard. She needed to get out of here and find Harry as soon as possible. After that, she'll deal with Dumbledore and ask him what the heck is going on. But first, she needs to make sure her family is safe, that they aren't part of any of his schemes.

"Well?" Pomfrey raised her eyebrow. "What's your question? I'll answer it the best way I can."

"Where's my wand?" Lily asked abruptly that Pomfrey stared at her as if not expecting that question at all.

"Dumbledore has it for the meantime."

Lily cursed inside. How can she escape without a wand?

"What happened to me, Madame?" At first, Lily was sure Pomfrey wouldn't answer. She could see hesitation in her eyes. But it was a nagging question Lily has been dying to ask. She wants to know what really happened that night Voldemort tried to kill Harry and why can't she remember a thing!

"You lost your memory, Lily" Pomfrey said sadly. "I do not know what hit you, but rest assured the Order—"

"But why me? Why my family? I… I want to know what happened to me. I want to know why I got hit by this unknown curse!" She finally decided to say when Madame Pomfrey remained quiet.

"Well," Pomfrey started. "It's an Order Confidential. I'm not allowed to say anything—"

"Please madame…"

"I'm sorry child. If I had a choice, I would have told you everything, to save you the trouble. But sadly, I am bound by magic to keep my words. Forgive me."

"I understand." Lily could only nod, yet inside she was screaming. She wants to be one hundred percent sure. "Is there a chance that I could see my family? I want to see them now." Lily glared as anger finally consumed her. She didn't notice her tight grip on the bed sheet.

Apparently, Madame Pomfrey saw this and placed her arms around Lily to calm her down. "Not in your condition, Lily. It's too complicated for you—"

"Why?" Lily snapped. "…because I don't remember anything—?"

"No." The other woman said. "Because you are going to hurt the people around you if you're not careful."

Lily looked insulted. "I would never do anything to hurt them—"

Pomfrey shook her head. "I know you won't. You might not hurt them physically but— you don't understand. There are consequences if— "

"If what?" Lily asked. Pomfrey looked sadly at her. "Ten years is a long time, Miss Lily. It's too complicated—"

"Do you know what happened to Voldemort?" Lily snapped, not really paying any attention to what she was saying. "Where is he now? How come we survived? Where are the Death Eaters who attacked us?"

Pomfrey looked at her with eyes wide; Lily could feel her panicking but didn't know why. "I believe I can no longer answer your question, Miss Lily. Now if you don't mind I have some important things to do and I suggest you calm down and wait for Dumbledore!"

And with that she stood up and went towards the door.

"WAIT!"

Pomfrey paused.

"I have one last question…"

Pomfrey sighed as she turned around.

"Do you happen to know where my Harry is?"

Lily felt guilty for leaving Pomfrey unconscious in the Hospital Wing but she had no choice. Pomfrey became suspicious and tried to give her a Sleeping Potion saying it was just an Anti-stress Tonic. Lily had cast a sleeping charm on Madame Pomfrey using the woman's own wand and after failing to cast a vomiting jinx on herself (the wand refused to obey her), Lily left the wand and hurried towards the corridor.

For Lily, the conversation with Madame Pomfrey brought more questions than answer. But one thing was sure; her family was attacked and they need her right now. She needs to find them soon.

The hard part was looking for an escape. It seems that not all Hogwarts fireplace are connected to Floo Network. Luckily for her, she knew a place near the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy that might help her. And sure enough, the room appeared with only a fireplace.

Lily sighed as she stood in front of the huge fireplace. It stretched from the floor to the ceiling and the hearth extended near the center of the room. Lily also noticed a large circular sandbox near the fireplace, only to discover that it was a whole mound of Floo Powder! But none of this is important right now.

"I believe he's in 88 Ample Unit Old Harlow in his fa—" Pomfrey has said before she fell asleep.

Suddenly, Lily heard echoes somewhere in the castle and she had a nasty feeling they already knew she escaped. With one last look at the room, she step into the fireplace and tossed a handful of Floo Powder into the fire.

Flooing was never her favorite mode of transport. But desperate times calls for desperate measure. She can't apparate here, no brooms and no wand to make a portkey.

"OUCH!"

Minutes later, Lily lay groaning in the middle of the living room floor stroking her bruised head. How was she supposed to know that fireplace was just as big as a doghouse? No wizard in their right mind would build such a small fireplace unless of course the house belongs to a muggle. Lily looked around the room teary eyed from the pain of bumping her head. With electrical appliances and still paintings; there was no denying that this _is_ a muggle dwelling.

Why would Harry be in a place like this?

"HELLO?" Lily called as she stepped into the dark hallway, head still aching. It was already dark outside and the whole house seemed abandoned. "Anybody home?"

No answer.

Did Madame Pomfrey gave her the right address?

Lily was about to leave when she heard a faint melody. At first it was a soft tune and unrecognizable. But the song was so familiar…

She tiptoed through the stair as she followed the sound. It was very dark and she could hardly see. Suddenly, Lily could feel her head spinning and she has to momentarily grab the wall for support. Maybe the potion's kicking in. Lily shook her head wildly; she must concentrate on the task at hand. "Harry?" she called out once more.

A door stood ajar. The song was coming from that room. She peered into it only to find that the room was a nursery; the walls pink, the floor carpeted, stuff toys and dolls lay scattered on the floor. Lily sneaked inside the dimly lighted room and examined the place, baby pictures hang on the wall and she was surprised to see one portrait, partly hidden among the stuffed toys, of a baby smiling and waving at her happily. Whoever is living here has magical connection in some way.

Lily looked around once more only to discover that the faint song she just heard was coming from a small muggle music box that lay on the floor. Why was it so familiar to her?

Lily froze. Of course! That was the same lullaby her mother used to sing to her before going to bed, back when she was about six years old. Lily felt her eyes wet as she remember those days…

_Summertime, and the living is easy _

_Fish are jumping, and the cotton is high _

_Your daddy's rich, and your ma is good looking _

_So hush little baby, don't you cry. _

_One of these mornings, you're gonna rise up singing _

_You're gonna spread your wings as you take the sky _

_But till that morning, there's nothing can harm you _

_With your daddy and mammy standing high_ (Gershwin Lullaby 1935)

"Mama?"

A surprised Lily lashed around and saw a little girl about three years old with dark auburn hair, rose from the small bed rubbing her eyes.


	3. Surprise

CHAPTER 3

"Mama?" The little girl called her again.

They stared at each other for a moment with Lily, not really knowing what to say. Her had heart stopped beating and her feet glued to the floor. She was too stunned and numb to respond.

"Mommy!" The little girl exclaimed and was raising her arms into the air motioning Lily to take her. Lily suddenly noticed the striking blue eyes of the child; it reminded her greatly of her father's eyes. Mommy? She called her mommy? Lily then recalled Dumbledore mentioning about children. _Children…_

Tears escaped Lily's eyes and she couldn't breath. How could she miss out on that? She has a daughter and no one had the decency to tell her? Not even Dumbledore. That old man has a lot of explaining to do. Lily approached the bed, looking at the smiling girl before her. It was an eerie feeling for Lily to be looking at this child, knowing she's her daughter but not really remembering anything…

Without wasting a moment, Lily grabbed the child, cradled her in her arms and cried for her. "I'm sorry" She whispered again and again to the little one who giggled in her embrace, trying to play with Lily's short hair but unable to reach it. Noticing Lily's tears, the child stared at her with questioning look. "Mommy…" she mumbled.

A thunder roared into the house indicating the arrival of a storm. But it wasn't just the thunder that shocked Lily but also the banging on the door a floor below. Somehow, she knew they're here to get her. But she won't let them. Not with all the lies… She will find her family on her own. Lily doesn't know what Dumbledore was trying to hide; all she knows is that she didn't want any part of it at all. She just wants her family safe.

"Don't be scared baby. I'm here." She whispered to the little one as she pulled a blanket over her, seeing her worried face, Lily smiled at her meekly for reassurance. "Mommy won't leave you."

The banging continued as Lily went down the stairs. There was no time to find Harry and she doubt that he was still here. Despite it being a muggle house, it was heavily protected with magic and she could not disapparate. She reached the back door and closed it with a bang just as she saw the front door open, revealing the shadows of two men.

"Stop!" She heard one of them shout before she banged the door shut. It sounded so familiar but she couldn't quite register.

As soon as they were outside, they were greeted by the loud display of thunder and lightning. This startled the child in her arms and she started to cry. Lily tried to coo her into silence but to no avail. The rain was pouring hard and she still couldn't disapparate. She has no choice but to brave the harsh wind and get wet. The backyard was wide and dark without the constant illumination of lightning through the night sky. Lily made out the silhouette of a tree at the far side of the yard and she hoped she could finally disapparate beyond there.

"Baby, stop crying." She whispered to her child as she finally decided to run for it. She has to find a safe and warm place for them as soon as possible. After then can she be able to face them, whoever they are.

She was halfway through her path when a voice called.

"Lily! Stop!"

That voice, Lily thought. It can't be; she'd recognized that voice anywhere. She froze as rain poured heavily on her while her child crying mercilessly in her arms. She whipped around desperately hoping that the person who called her was the one she thought it was. Surely enough, standing just a few meters from her was a tall man with almost neck-length messy hair. It was dark but she could tell that the man facing her was none other than James Potter. Emotion swelled inside Lily as their eyes met; he was as handsome as Lily last saw him, only he looked more matured and his bearing taller. He wasn't wearing any glasses no more and it suits him.

All Lily wanted to do was run to him and hold him. He was safe and it was all that mattered to her right now.

"James!" Lily cried out as she rushed towards him, hugging him with every bit of love she could give. She felt him stiffened in her touch. "You're safe. They found you! Oh I'm so worried about you. I'm so—"

"Lily…" James said coldly as another thunder appeared on the horizon, blending with the now shrieking cries of her child. "I want you to calm down."

Lily looked at her husband confused. "James I—"

"Lily, give me the child. Give me Iris… She's not part of this." James said slowly as if he's talking to a five year old child.

Lily shook her head and backed away from him. "You don't understand. I'm here to get her and Harry. I want them safe"

"She's safe here, Lily." James glared.

"No. You don't get it. They're not safe until they're with me." Lily snapped. "Not until they're with us, James. You—"

James frantically shook his head. "Lily you don't understand—"

"Shut up!" Lily shouted while trying to support the weight of the child. "You're all saying I don't understand! But I do, James… I do. I don't remember anything and you all fucking don't want to tell me. But James…"

"Lily, please.." James breathed. "It's a lot more complex than that—"

"Mama!" Iris piped in between her ear-splitting cries. At first Lily thought Iris was reaching for James, but then she saw that Iris was actually looking at the direction of the house where they came through. Standing on the doorway was a woman in her nightgown Lily couldn't make out who; she was in the arms of another man restraining her from running towards them. The woman was shouting but Lily couldn't really hear it clearly with all the noise.

Lily suddenly saw anger and worry flashed across James' face. "You're scaring her Lily! Give her to me!" James commanded and it bothered her to hear him like that. It wasn't James habit to take that tone on her.

"No." Lily begged. "Let us go James. Don't bring us back to Dumble—"

"No!" James shouted, never really leaving his gaze on Iris as she continues to cry, trying desperately to free herself from Lily's grasp. Lily stepped back, almost certain that James could easily take Iris away from her if he tried.

"He lies, James. He can't be trusted—"

"Stop this at once! You're hurting her, Lily!"

"I'm responsible for her—"

"DAMN IT LILY!" James yelled in anger. "SHE'S NOT YOUR DAUGHTER!"


	4. Mistaken

CHAPTER 4 MISTAKEN

"She's.. She's not yours, Lily." James sighed.

Lily shook her head, anger consuming her. "No. Don't you dare lie to me James Potter! I'm sick of lies. I may have lost my memory but that don't give any of you rights to lie to me!" She spat at his face.

"I'm not lying!" James exclaimed, trying to approach her but she recoil. "Do you think I would lie to you if we really had a daughter?"

They looked at each other. "I would be proud of her, Lily. I would never keep her from you."

Lily blinked back tears. "James…" He would never lie to her, right?

James closed his eyes and when he opened it all she saw was bitterness. "We don't have a daughter, Lily. Please believe me…"

Lily was numb. Was he telling the truth? She felt her heart ache and instinctively, she tightens her hold on Iris. "What about Harry? Is he safe? What, are you going to tell me he doesn't exist too?" Lily dared him.

James shook his head. "Harry's safe. Lily, just please… give her to me." James begged and she could feel the desperation in his voice. But Lily didn't move, her legs don't seem to obey her anymore. She heard James cursed and saw him tighten the grip on his wand. Surely he's not thinking about that.

"But she called me mommy, James." Lily sounded desperate. She can feel her tears building in her eyes as the reality came crashing to her.

James nodded. "Yes, I know. She always calls you Mommy, Lily. But she's not your daughter… she's… she's…"

She saw James closed his eyes again, like he was trying frantically to come up with an answer.

"She's your niece." He finally said, opening his eyes and daring her to question.

As if on cue, a shriek came from behind James. Petunia was running towards Lily, wet in both rain and tears, only in her nightgown. James grabbed Petunia as she passed him by, holding her back but she easily shoved him off.

"No! Go back to the house!" James exclaimed.

"Don't you dare touch me, Potter!" She looked angrily at him and continued on her path.

Petunia's piercing blue eyes were boring into Lily like daggers as she dashed towards her. With one swift motion; she took Iris from Lily's grip and held the little girl protectively in her bony arms. "YOU!" Petunia bellowed at Lily, anger and hurt playing in her glaring eyes. Lily couldn't help but noticed how she resembles their mother with her high cheekbone and thin lips. Petunia had become their mother's clone, except she lacked mother's kind and soft face. She was thin and tall like she always did, while her sandy hair, covered in curlers, drip mushily as it came in contact with the rain. Iris hanged on her mother's skinny frame and all Lily could do was stare in disbelief, tears streaming down her own cheeks.

Petunia struggles to come up with something hurtful to throw at Lily but couldn't and instead she ran back to the house leaving Lily in tears.

"I'm sorry." Lily said in between her sobs. "I don't know what's happening to me…" All Lily could do is cry, she was so lost. She never thought losing one's memory could hurt this bad. It was like this wasn't her world at all. Minuets ago, she was so sure Iris' was her and she quickly imagined her family happily, but now all came crashing to her like a bomb. Lily felt like she was on a different universe and her own world is somewhere else… just waiting for her.

"I wanna go home…" She mumbled.

Unexpectedly, she felt two strong arms wrapped around her. She snuggled against him, hugging him back like her life depends on it. She cried in his arms, unable to contain her feelings any longer

"Don't blame yourself." James whispered in her.

"Help me, James…" Lily looked into James' eyes solemnly, tears streaming down her face. "Don't leave me. Help me get through this. I don't know what to do anymore."

James looked determined. "I won't leave you. I promise you, I'll be here. Everything's going to be alright."

Somehow, Lily wished it will… With James by her side, she felt safe.

"I think we need to find a place for you—" James started.

"James…"

"Yes, Lily?"

"I need you…"

Lily felt him stiffened again; his eyes went blank, deep in his thoughts. She gripped him hard, pressing her body to his, letting him know she needs him more than ever… she needs him tonight.

"Go!"

It was a different voice. Lily glanced over James' shoulder and saw Sirius. She didn't even recognize him at first; his face hiding behind his long black hair. As if hearing her thoughts, Sirius tucked his hair on his ear and smiled at her. He looked like the same as she last saw him, though much bigger and muscular. She couldn't help but notice the letter X scar on his left cheek. Then it came to her why the voice earlier sounds so familiar. It was Sirius'.

"Sirius, I think—" James started but was interrupted.

"I'll explain everything to Petunia later." Sirius said and then he gave Lily a warm smile. "Everything will be alright, Lily."

Lily nodded. "I didn't mean to…Petunia—"

"It's not your fault" Sirius shook his head

"I think I better say so—"

But James didn't let her go. "I think… I think it would be better if we leave her alone, Lily... for now." His voice was deep and cold.

"She'll understand." Sirius smiled. "I'll talk to her. Don't worry"

James and Sirius exchanged serious looks Lily didn't understand why. It was like they're having a conversation with their minds and she couldn't read it. Finally, as if they arrived with an understanding, James nodded. He looked down at Lily.

"We have to go." All Lily could do was nod.

* * *

A/N: hey guys, I won't be posting the next chapter unless i finish chapter 9. kind of having a writer's block and it's really frustrating. Please bare with me.. thankyall! Sneak Peak: James and Lily's breakfast together... sort of.. :)

P.S i don't have a beta.. and i'm still deciding if i'll get one.. so sorry for any grammatical error :)


	5. Apology

CHAPTER 5 APOLOGY

It was still raining outside when Dumbledore looked over the window of his office. All could have gone according to plan, was it not for Lily's mischievous escape. The old man massaged his forehead as he contemplates on the matter. This changes everything and he feels an alternative is appropriate.

There was a knock and the door of his office opened. He looked around to find Sirius Black approaching his desk.

"I gather you found Lily?" Dumbledore inquired.

"Yeah." Sirius replied. "And you were right. She found Rissy, gave Petunia a hell of a fright."

The old man nodded. "I was afraid of that. It was never my intention to drag Petunia or the child into this."

"I know Dumbledore but she's her sister. Whether Petunia likes it or not, she's a part of this and she must do her part. The sooner she accepts that, the better!" He said crossly as he sat on the nearest chair.

Dumbledore looked at Sirius. "I sense bitterness in your voice, Sirius." Then he noticed the red mark on young man's cheek.

Sirius didn't meet the old man's eyes. "Nothing. I just had a little conversation with Petunia."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "A little?"

"Well… no." Sirius said after a minute. He looked bemusedly at Dumbledore rubbing his flushing cheek. "We kind of had an argument and things… I mean I… got a little carried away."

Dumbledore looked at Sirius rather skeptically. "You know how I feel about the matter, Dumbledore…" Sirius explained. "…about the past. She was ranting all over me. I just— I don't know what came over me and I said some stuff… I should have shut my mouth, I know. But there's no other way to make her understand"

Dumbledore eyed the young man. "Sirius, you know old wounds leave deep scars. You should have realized that Petunia is in a very tight position at the moment and we must understand her situation. It didn't help that you remind her of the things that happened before… things that should be left buried. It was even polite of her to even consent. I take it she accepted the task?"

Sirius nodded. "She didn't actually have a choice. James and Lily took off immediately."

"I see…" Dumbledore said as he sat on his highchair. "Now I understand Petunia's rage… evident on the scratches on your arms."

Sirius looked at his arm and indeed saw small nail scratches on it. He smiled. He hadn't realized the extent of Petunia's attack on him.

"I assumed you explained it to her?"

"I did." Sirius frowned. "But she didn't understand… crying all over… I have to get out… I can't stand it."

"Then an apology is fitting, Sirius"

"I know." He sighed.

"It was foolish of James not to inform Petunia ahead of time in my opinion, and then leave the children in her care without proper agreement" Dumbledore continued, ignoring Sirius who was about to say something. "But we must not stress ourselves with her. We will deal with her when the time comes. For now, I must ask for your help, Sirius."

Sirius looked at Dumbledore. "I'm afraid things are getting out of hand. We must act soon if we are to avoid hurting far more people than expected… as we have seen tonight."

Sirius looked seriously. "I agree. I'm willing to help you in anyway. Lily has been like a sister to me. I just can't believe this is happening to them. Did you—" He looked at Dumbledore. "— found him?"

The old man sighed. "We are still unsuccessful. Moody had informed me earlier today and he reported with no such luck. But they found something else"

Sirius did a double take. "What?" Dumbledore shove the parchment he's been reading to Sirius.

"A body…" Dumbledore continued.

Sirius panicked. "Surely it's not him?"

"Oh no! It was unrecognizable but Moody suspected that it belongs to a Death Eater. He thinks its Greyback, based on its body built"

"They found the body miles north of Stoner?" Sirius became curious as he scan the content of the report. He shook his head. "Something's not right. Something must've gone wrong…"

"Just as I suspected," Dumbledore stood up. "We need further investigation. But I must ask you not to mention anything to Lily yet…."

Sirius laughed. "Dumbledore, look at what happened when you decided to keep it from her. She—"

"Yes! But you do also remember what happened when I tried to tell her." He said. "And I feel we owe it to him to wait."

Sirius stayed quiet. "Then what are your plans?"

Dumbledore closed his eyes and stayed silent, with Sirius wondering if he had fallen asleep. Suddenly, he opened his eyes, stood up and walked towards the door.

"I must talk to James." He stated and then he pointed at Sirius saying... "Then you will come with me. We have something important to do."

* * *

Lily woke up only to be greeted by the serene sound of the crashing waves. She felt like waking up in heaven! She didn't even want to stand up, only the calming sound of the ocean, whispering in her ear. Lily wished with all her heart that everything was all a very bad dream and she would just wake up to be greeted by Harry and James. She would tell them all about her dream and they would laugh, comforting her and saying everything is alright.

But she knew that's not the case. She sat upright to find herself wearing a rather oversized yellow shirt and her previous clothes folded neatly on a chair. Lily looked around the room; she was in a white circular room, with wooden furniture and tiles, the sun shining brightly through the satin curtain. Lily wanted to look out the window and smell the breeze of morning air, but her gurgling stomach tells her otherwise.

She cautiously made her way out of the room and into the spiral staircase. She looked around the place and concluded that it was a lighthouse based on its structure. A lighthouse gracefully transformed into a lovely home with its white walls, antique pieces and wide windows. Lily just made it to the last landing, when she heard James' voice.

"I can't do this." He said. Lily, curious as she was, peered into what she assumed to be the kitchen. James was standing near the counter; faced against the wall, arms crossed and head's down. At first she wondered what was he doing, and then she realized he was actually in front of a round, beautifully designed gold-framed mirror.

"I understand, James." She heard Dumbledore's voice coming from the mirror. "But why the sudden change of heart? When I came there last night with Sirius, I assumed you have agreed—"

"Yes, yes, yes" James replied. "I did. But I can't do this to her anymore… I don't have the heart to hurt her, Dumbledore. I… I love her"

"Very well…" Dumbledore said with a sigh. "It is pointless to argue. If you must, then tell Lily. I don't want to put you in a tight situation you can no longer bear."

"Thank you."

"But that's all, James. I'm begging you to hold on, just give us a little more time." James nodded. "… Until we find him."

"I made a promise to Lily I will help her get through this. I'm not about to break that promise."

"Then she is indeed fortunate to have you…" The voice said. "I just can't imagine how are you going to break it to her?"

"I don't even know where to start, to tell you the truth." James said in defeat.

"How to break to me what, James?" Lily snapped, revealing herself before James.


	6. Chance

James just blinked at her stupidly. She approached him and glanced at the mirror, expecting to see Dumbledore, only to find her own reflection frowning back at her.

"What were you going to tell me?" Her gazed moved back to James, who was just as surprised as she was to see the mirror empty.

James was lost for words. "I… I… I mean… the—you— I forgot your coffee" He immediately turned around, trying to hide his torn face from her. This was harder than James thought. "Do you want it with cream?

"Thanks but I don't drink coffee" Lily looked irritated. "And don't change the subject! What's going on?" However, James didn't hear her; he was busy thinking of how he'll be able to tell her the truth, while absentmindedly blending the coffee. He was deep in thought and he has this distant look in his eyes. This scared Lily.

"James…"

"Wha—?" James abruptly woke up from his trance, accidentally pouring the coffee on him.

"James! What's the matter with you?" Lily dashed forward to help him but he stopped her. She looked at him worriedly; something was bugging him… something was not right. "Tell me what's wrong"

James bit his lips. "I—I'm okay…Let's just eat breakfast first, Lily" Lily didn't argue, not with her stomach gurgling. She took her seat hesitantly and waited for him to cool down.

"How did you learn to cook like these?" Lily asked him, trying to lighten up the mood "They're delicious!" And she wasn't lying.

James paused and looked down at his untouched food. "Let's just say I have a very persuasive mentor"

Lily laughed. "That's good. You know, I remember the last time you tried to cook… well in my memory that is… the kitchen was never the same again and then… and then you tried to hide the mess by doing a concealing charm but then Harry discovered it by chance, he was still a baby then but—"

"Stop it, Lily…" James exclaimed, unable to stop himself any longer; couldn't bear to hear those memories again. "I'm sorry just stop! Please"

"James…"

"Lily, there's something you should know—" James covered her hands with his and looked her sadly in the eyes.

"What is it, James?" Lily looked alarmed. "Oh my… did something happen to Harry—?"

"No… No… Harry's fine"

"Then what is this about?"

"Lily, I really care for you" James whispered. "And I hope I could find some other way to make this easier. But… but some things are beyond us…"

"What are you talking about—?"

"Listen." James interrupted as Lily looked at him; confusion evident in her eyes.

"Lily, we're not… I… I'm not your husband anymore."

Lily gawked at James like he just made a cruel joke.

"Haha… funny James, nice try" She said, withdrawing her hand and crossing her arms. "I may have lost my memory but I'm no dumb. I know Wizard marriages are permanent and unbreakable and I certainly remembered being married to you. Is this one of Dumbledore's lies again, another one of his schemes?"

"No…" She could sense James' struggle. "It's complicated but… we weren't technically married…" He finally said.

Lily laughed. "I don't know what you and Dumbledore are trying to do but it's not funny! I clearly remember us being married, James"

"I'm not trying to be funny." James said, trying to be calm us possible. Lily shook her head and stood up from the table. She didn't know where this conversation was going and she didn't like it one bit.

"No James. I won't be part of you or Dumbledore's plan…" She said as she made her way towards the adjacent living room, which has a nice view of the shore.

"Lily…" Before she could make another step, James had caught her. "You have to know this now. Dumbledore has nothing to do with this. This is about you and me"

"Then you lost me… I don't know why we weren't _technically_ married. There's no such thing as _technically married_, James. Either we are or we're not. Are you saying that our wedding was a fake one?" Lily look scandalized.

"Of course not!" James snapped, looking quite offended. "It was very real. What we did back then was genuine and I don't regret our decision—"

"So? Then what happened? Did we… did we do something wrong?"

James gave another deep sigh before continuing. "No. that's not it, we we're married, Lily. We married under the ministry law and in the process by which every other wizard marriages go through. We did it right. I mean… you remember it" Lily nodded, recalling the day she married him.

"But then… uhm… after Voldemort's downfall, we tried to buy this house… we tried to buy Rock Point a year later but all magically bounded documents did not recognized us as one"

"And what does that mean?" Lily asked impatiently.

"It means that we were never really magically binded, Lily. The marriage was void."

Lily was in shock as dropped on the couch, contemplating the matter. She remembered something during their wedding, something that didn't really matter until now. It was during the ceremony, when the first witness's wand suddenly snapped in half when they started the binding. They ended up using Dumbledore as the witness instead.

"But why?"

"It's a long story, Lily. But I will tell you when the right time comes—"

"It doesn't matter, James" Lily said as she tried to suppress her tears. "It doesn't matter to me. If we have to then we'll marry again. It doesn't mean a thing—" She tried to cup his face, reassuring him that this doesn't change what she feels about him… but James suddenly stood up out of frustration.

"Damn it, Lily. You don't understand…" James sighed again. "We're not… we're not together anymore"

He's lying, Lily thought. She stared at him for a while, hoping he'll take it back and that he was somehow just playing a cruel prank on her. But he didn't… instead he turned around and faced the wide window.

"It was never really about the wedding, Lily. We were having problems before then. I don't know what happened but we weren't happy anymore. It— it wasn't working out the way we expected. We tried to patch things up, Lily. Merlin knows we tried… for Harry's sake. But then we found out about our marriage being void; that was the last blow. It wasn't meant to be—"

"Enough!" Lily shouted, tears silently pouring, her chest literally hurt as the thought finally sink in. "You're wrong. How can the two of us— not together? This doesn't make sense…" James became silent, unable to look her straight in the eye.

"But I love you…"

James looked at her as if he had seen a ghost. "You don't mean that, Lily. You have no idea—"

"I do!" Lily wrapped her arms around his waist and cuddle in his chest. "I love you James Potter. I still do and I'll always will. I don't know what happened to us… but… but we should forget about it and—"

"I cannot just forget about it, Lily! You have no idea," James' voice was full of suppressed anger as he grabbed hold of Lily. "You have no idea what I've been through… you have no idea how hard it was to let… let you go. But we've moved on so please, let's stop this—"

"James... listen—"

"No!" James interrupted, Lily saw his hand turned into a fist, and then relaxed. "I shouldn't be angry with you right now. This is wrong! You… you're not you. You don't remember anything. I can't be mad at you for something that you don't even remember. Let's just stop—"

"No!" Lily gripped him harder.

"Please don't make this harder than it already is, Lily"

"I know you love me!" James froze as he listened to her words. "I heard you talking to Dumbledore…" Lily looked him in the eyes, pleading. "What's stopping you now?"

"The truth is—"

Lily didn't know what came over her. She doesn't know if its confusion or anger or desperation that made her move forward and cupped James' face. He was so handsome, and she couldn't stop herself. This caught James by surprise and was unprepared when Lily crashed her lips into his. She wished that the kiss would somehow wake James from this madness… that somehow the kiss would make him realize that whatever happened to them was a mistake; that they belong together. But as soon as she moved her lips, as she tries to graze his unresponsive lips, James pulled her away.

"I'm sorry, this is wrong… stop this. I can't" James mumbled while Lily looked both hurt and shocked.

Lily shook her head but unable to say a word.

"Listen, Lily. I know this hard for you. But you must trust me… everything will be okay"

"No, James. Everything is not okay!" It was Lily's time to be angry. "I don't remember anything! What if I can't bring back my memories—?" Lily felt fear she has never felt before. What if her memories really won't come back? She won't remember about James… about Harry… about her life for the past ten years…

"You will," He stated. "I know you will… when you remember it, then you'll understand everything, Lily. Everything will fall into place."

Lily paused as a thought came to her mind…

"But James what… what if this is our second chance?" Lily pleaded her last desperate attempt. She couldn't just let him walk away like this.

"Lily—"

"No! Listen… what if this was meant to be? That I lost my memory... so that you and I can give it another try? Our second chance, James…"

"You don't know what you are talking about…"

"Please… I beg you, James… don't you want to… to try it… again?"

James laughed. "If you had asked me ten years ago, Lily… I would have said yes." Hearing this, Lily suddenly felt weak, like she just lost a long-fought battle. There was no way to make him understand…

Seeing Lily's devastated face, James felt guilty. "I'm sorry…"

"And even if I want to." He added, "We still can't be together…"

Lily looked at him confused and was about to object when James suddenly pulled her hand into the air and looked intently at it. She followed his gaze and landed on her finger. Lily saw it before but hasn't really thought of it until now… there in her ring finger, is a single golden band… a wedding ring… but if they weren't really married… then…

"…because you already married someone else, Lily."

* * *

N/A: Ooh.. who could it be? hmmm...


	7. Listen

CHAPTER 7

"_No! Listen… what if this was meant to be? That I lost my memory... so that you and I can give it another try? Our second chance, James…"_

Shaking his head, James put down the glass of fire whiskey he's been drinking. It has been two hours since he left Rock Point and now he's in his living room, sitting comfortably in his favorite chair, sipping his third glass of whisky and reminiscing the scene that had played earlier. Somehow, Lily's pleading face refuse to leave his thoughts. The way she looked at him, full of love and regret, was haunting. It has been so long since she looked at him that way and it reminded him of their past fate, a fate they have learned to accept a long time ago.

Or so he thought. He absentmindedly touched his lips and remembered the way Lily had kissed him. Her touch still has that effect on him somehow and it bothered him.

"Hey, you've arrived."

James hastily withdraws his finger from his lips. "Uh.. yeah"

Sirius emerged from the shadows, his face smiling upon seeing his friend's torn face. Something must've happened and he's eager to know why. He leaned over the fireplace and both men spend a moment looking at the crackling fire. "So. How did it go?"

"Not according to what I had planned." James mumbled as he handed Sirius a glass of fire whiskey.

"Expect nothing less from Lily" Sirius commented. "You told her about the two of you?"

"Yeah"

"And?"

James shifted in his seat, uncomfortable in sharing this information. "What do you expect? She's confused and angry. She doesn't understand how and I don't know how to explain it to her. Not when I can't tell her everything." He sighed.

Sirius nodded. "I assume you also told her about the _other one_?"

"What other one, Padfoot?" James sounded irritated and Sirius knew he hit a spot. "You mean her husband?"

"Yeah. That other one" Sirius rolled his eyes.

James shook his head, too tired to argue with his best friend. He knew where Sirius is heading and he isn't biting it. "Lily just stopped talking to me and locked herself in the bedroom after. She said she wanted to be alone" James stared back at the fire, remembering how exactly Lily reacted. "What's weird is she didn't say anything, not even cry. I'd rather see her cry or get mad at me than nothing at all. It was scary. It's not like her."

"I know what you mean" Sirius smirked as he gulped down his whiskey, remembering a crying Petunia the night before. "But I'd prefer the silent type than the crying and scratching one—"

"Scratching?"

"Nothing" James was lost in the fire again and Sirius knew something's up."What's wrong, Prongs?"

"What? Nothing"

"Usually when you say nothing it means something. Spill it out"

James looked at his best friend warily. "She kissed me." He whispered so softly that only them could hear. Sirius froze. He had expected James to say Lily attacked him. It's an impulse that runs in their family somehow. He wasn't expecting this.

"She kissed you or you two kissed?" James looked unbelievably at Sirius. "…cause, you know, there's a difference."

"She kissed me" James frowned at his accusation. "Nothing more. Why would you even suggest something like that?"

Sirius smirked. "The fact that her lips even reached your lips tells how little you have self control, my friend"

James pretended he didn't hear him. "I should've seen it. I was caught off guard."

"You do realize that this makes things all the more complicated?" Sirius said and James nodded. "So?"

"So what?"

"What did you feel?"

James shrugged. "What am I supposed to feel?"

"You tell me" Sirius said. "Prongs, I'm your best friend. You know you can trust me"

"I've got nothing to tell, Padfoot" James gulped his last glass of whiskey. "And you should stop jumping into conclusion. Lily and I have long resolved this. What happened to her might've complicated it somehow but it'll be over soon…" James faded.

"You sounded like it was a bad thing" James snapped at his friend's comment but Sirius continued. "I mean, Lily was your ex-wife afterall. Surely?"

James had enough. "Stop it. We are not talking about this, Padfoot" He eyed his friend. "And I know what you're trying to do. I'm not gonna fall for it this time" He knew Sirius would make this side remarks. He shouldn't have told him in the first place.

"I get it. Geez." Sirius held his hands up in surrender. He's bound to lose this argument anyway. It's not worth trying especially not tonight.

"And not a word about this" James whispered, glaring at Sirius after making sure the coast is clear.

"Okay" Sirius shrugged and James knew he can never be too sure. "I mean it, Padfoot. The last time I told you to keep quiet, you ended up telling somehow and it got me in a lot of trouble"

Sirius smiled at the memory. "Hey, it's not my fault girls dig the most popular Professional Quidditch player today. Don't even try to deny it. Captain of both the Holy Harpies and the Quidditch National Team and two time Quidditch Player of the Year?" Sirius whistled. "Have you checked Witch Weekly lately? You've been the cover for like three months now. And the things that Skeeter woman have written about you—"

"Spare me" James rolled his eyes.

Lily didn't let James see her cry. She locked herself in one of the bedroom and sent James away, who half-heartedly obliged. But unknown to him, Lily cried all day. She didn't even know she's capable of crying like that. The sheer thought of her family broken hurts Lily like she never thought possible. What happened to her and James doesn't make sense at all. How come she let this happen to them. Everything was perfect back then. They were happy.

And what kind of mother was she to make such a terrible life for Harry? How can she deny him the right to a happy family?

Lily clutched the pillow she's been hugging as anger and sadness consumed her every thought. She then looked at the wedding ring in her finger. She noticed it was a different ring, different from the one she remembered wearing on her wedding day. Lily thought about her supposed husband and felt goose bumps. She really can't imagine herself with another man besides James. Somehow, she felt disgusted and dirty. She took the ring off her finger and tossed it outside the window, hoping the ring would take away with it the pain and sorrow she felt at the moment.

With dried tears, Lily was now numb. She's been looking absentmindedly out the wide window for hours now. She didn't want to think anymore. Thinking hurts. She wants nothing but to sit in bed and stare at the sunset.

"Lily? Open up" A knock came so softly. "We have to talk" But Lily didn't care. The knocking continued and there was a commotion outside.

"Stand aside!" An angry voice said.

"Don't! Let her open up—" The door came down anyway and Lily sighed. It wasn't even locked. Two women then entered the room heavily. One, with brown hair shorter than Lily's, kicked the door aside as they approached her. The other one was pale looking with long black hair and noticeably rosy cheeks.

"Lily?" The woman with rosy cheeks cautiously asked her. She looks familiar "It's me, Hestia, Hestia Jones. You do remember me, right?" Lily was barely listening. Hestia kneeled in front of her and covered her hands. "Lily, you're scaring me. Please say something"

"Please go away" Lily replied in a monotone.

"No. We're going to talk. We need to talk" Hestia's eyes suddenly twinkled with tears. She shook her lightly. "You need to let it out. I know this is all hard for you but you have to be strong."

Lily just shook her head in response.

The other woman snorted. "Oh for heaven's sake. Stop with this drama already. Let her be, Hest, maybe she'll decide to walk off the cliff and jump. It'll save us the trouble of explaining to her"

"Alice, please bear with me, will you?" Hestia pleaded.

Lily stopped when she heard the name. Alice? She's here? When Lily looked up, it took her time before she realized that the short-haired woman was none other than Alice Longbottom. The woman looked very different from what Lily remembered of her best friend. Alice still has her round face, but her look surly and her expression fiercer. Much different from the kind and friendly expression of the Alice she knew.

"Alice!" Lily exclaimed, standing up and flinging herself towards her best friend. "Oh I'm so happy to see you! Thank Merlin you're here! I… I really need you right now. Alice, I don't know what to do anymore"

Lily was close to tears now but Alice just stared strangely at her. She slowly took Lily's arms away from her in disgust. "Hah! Okay first, don't ever hug me that way again"

"Excuse me?" Lily blinked.

"Let me make this clear to you. We do _not_ hug each other. We do _not _even touch each other. I don't even know why that old man gave me this task" Alice turned to Hestia. "I shouldn't even be here. I've got three Death Eater hot spots to monitor. This is a waste of my time"

"But Alice," Lily looked confused. "You… You're my best friend"

Alice just laughed. "Oh no, no, no Lily. I am not your best friend, not anymore. Let's not go down memory lane now, shall we?"

"What happened to you?" Lily asked irritably.

Alice's shrill laugh sent shivers down Lily's spine. "You're funny. You honestly want me to tell you what happened to me? Hahaha!"

"I think this is not the time and place to be talking about this—" Hestia interjected standing in between Alice and Lily.

"No, Lily brought it up. Let's do talk about it" Alice smirked.

"Alice…" Hestia warned

"I mean, Dumbledore did say to fill her up. So I'm filling her up!"

Lily looked puzzled.

"You know what happened to me? Hm.. where shall I start, Lily? Oh I know!" Alice exclaimed with mock excitement. "How about the time Frank and I were captured and tortured by Death Eaters after Voldemort's downfall? Yeah, tortured us for information about the Dark Lord's disappearance. Lestrange and Crouch Jr. brutally tortured us until we lose our mind and left us for dead. We survived barely but they left us 'mentally incapable' as said by those good for nothing healers. My husband and I became insane. I became insane, Lily!" Alice laughed hysterically, memory flashing in an instant. "They dubbed us as the crazy couple, would you believe that? Unluckily for me, I recovered after a year of shit and now I have to raise my family alone while I watch my husband in St. Mungo's making wallpaper out of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum wrappers!" Alice heaved heavily, leaving a shocked Lily teary eyed.

Lily was speechless. She was debating if this was all a joke, but decided it isn't so by the way Alice eyes glitter, tears trying to escape. "I… I'm sorry…"

"Your sorry wouldn't change a thing" Alice spat. She tried to composed herself. "You don't know how hard it was. So don't act like you're in the worst situation in the world right now, Lily because frankly, I'll lose my memory any day" Alice said as she stormed outside.

"Here," Hestia pushed the cup towards Lily as they sat in the kitchen counter. "Alice isn't usually one to burst out like that. She just has a lot in her mind right now. Please understand"

Lily shook her head, not really listening to Hestia. She couldn't believe what she just heard. What happened to Alice and Frank was terrible but why was Alice taking it on her? Did something happen between them? "I don't get it"

"You grew apart, Lily" Hestia said as if answering Lily's question. "After Alice recovered from her… uhm… let's just say she was never the same way again. No one can really blame her. What happened to them was awful and you could imagine how she feels, Frank being…" Hestia bowed her head and drank her cup, unable to say the word.

"Is she blaming me for what happened to them?" Lily's realization came as a shock. "I've got to talk to Alice. I need to explain myself to her"

"Are you insane?" Hestia snapped so suddenly. "No, you are in no position to explain anything to her. You're just going to make it worst, Lily. Besides, the topic's a taboo. No one talks about it, especially to Alice."

"No wonder she's like that" Lily groaned, Alice's angry face flashed before her eyes. "I need to talk to her"

"You shouldn't worry about her. Alice didn't become the most notorious Auror for nothing" Hestia covered Lily's hand with her. "It will be okay, Lily, I promise. Soon, The Order will meet you to discuss things and by then everything will fall into place"

"And you all expect me to sit here and wait?" Lily laughed. "Oh no. I'm not taking any answers from you or anyone from Dumbledore's circle. No way" Lily declared.

Hestia sighed. "I know you have trust issues with Dumbledore but this can't go on, Lily. The Order is really trying it's best to help you"

"Well help me by telling me everything!" She looked troubled, just like how James looked this morning. "It's hard to explain. Not with—"

"I'm hereeeee!" Came a cheery voice.

Both women looked around and saw a blonde woman came out of the fireplace. She was wearing a rather formal attire as if she just came from the office while her hair was tied up in a low bun. She smiled at them. "Am I interrupting something, hmm?"

"Emmeline Vance?" Lily mumbled.

Emmeline's smile widens. "Ooh. You remember me? Well I'm flattered. We we're never really close back in old Order days, Lily. I'm a bit surprised."

Lily just gaped at her. "We're in a middle of quite an important confrontation here. You mind?"

Emmeline coughed and looked expectedly at Hestia who responded, "Lily, Emmeline Vance is also a member of The Order"

"Why is she here then?" Lily understood. "No. I told her I won't take any answers from any of you. Why won't you listen?"

"Lily, Lily..." Emmeline shook her head as she took a seat. Her cheery smiles seem to hide something more and it disturbed Lily. Emmeline looked sternly at her. "Who do you expect to answer your questions? A crystal ball? You're stubbornness won't get you anywhere. You're not a telepath like Miss Jones here you know"

"Wait you're a telepath?" Lily whipped to Hestia. "You've been reading my thoughts all along?"

"No! No! Not like that. More like a Legilimen in training… well a different kind of Legilimen. You see I can detect people's—"

"I'm sorry" Emmeline interrupted with a hand. "But I didn't cancel my very important meeting for this. Let's get down to business shall we, Miss Lily?"

"_Ministry Official"_ Hestia mouthed to Lily from behind Emmeline.

Lily looked at Emmeline cautiously before sitting down. "Fine. I want to know what the hell is going on! What happened to James and me? And why was my family attacked?"

Emmeline smiled and answered flatly. "No. I'm not going to answer that. In fact, it's not going to work that way"

"What?"

"Oh brother," Hestia shook her head.

"I'm not going to answer those questions. You will learn them soon. Things will be revealed to you slowly. Everything has a right time. No, I came here to tell you what happened the night Voldemort tried to kill your son ten years ago" Emmeline looked her in the eye. "And you are going to listen"


End file.
